Hey mama, if you’re anything like most moms I know, you’ve probably felt that gnawing feeling of mom guilt at least once (or let’s be real, probably a million times). You know, that voice in your head that tells you you’re not doing enough, or that you could always be doing better for your kids, your partner, your home — for everyone. It’s exhausting, isn’t it?

As a therapist for moms based in Ohio who specializes in EMDR therapy (I know, therapy can sound scary, but stick with me — it’s actually pretty transformative), I see this cycle of guilt all the time. The struggle to be the “perfect” mom can be overwhelming. But I’ve got some news for you: perfection doesn’t exist, and that’s actually a really good thing.

Today, I want to talk to you about how to break free from the cycle of mom guilt and embrace imperfection in your parenting. Trust me, you don’t have to do it all, and you don’t have to be perfect to be a great mom. So grab a cup of coffee (or wine, no judgment), and let’s dive into this!

What is Mom Guilt, Anyway?

In simple terms, mom guilt is that feeling that you're not doing enough, that you're failing your kids, or that you're falling short in some way. It can show up in a hundred different ways: maybe you feel guilty about going back to work after maternity leave, maybe you think you’re not spending enough one-on-one time with your kids, or maybe you just can’t shake the feeling that you’re messing things up somehow.

But here's the thing — mom guilt isn’t a reflection of who you are as a mom. It’s actually a product of all the unrealistic expectations we’re constantly bombarded with. From social media to well-meaning friends and family, there’s this expectation that moms should be perfect — balancing work, family, friendships, and personal time (don’t forget the clean house and Pinterest-worthy meals, right?). No wonder we feel like we’re failing.

But here’s a little secret: No one has it all together. Perfection is a myth, and it’s time to let that go.

Why Mom Guilt Hits Hard

I know firsthand how mom guilt can weigh you down. It doesn’t just make you feel bad about a particular decision, it can actually mess with your mental health. If you’re constantly feeling like you’re not measuring up, it can lead to stress, anxiety, and even depression. It’s like a little cloud that follows you around, reminding you that you could be doing better, and that you’re not doing enough for your kids or your family.

When that guilt gets out of control, it can lead to burnout. You might start to feel disconnected from yourself — like you're running on empty, and there's nothing left to give. It can also make it harder to enjoy your time with your kids because you're so focused on the idea that you’re not doing it “right.”

But here's the thing: 

You don't have to be perfect. You're doing the best you can, and that’s more than enough.

Embracing Imperfection: The First Step Toward Freedom

So, how do you actually start breaking the cycle of mom guilt? How do you stop feeling like you’re not doing enough? Well, it starts with embracing imperfection — both in yourself and in your parenting.

Here are a few things I’ve learned (both through my own experiences as a mom and as a therapist who works with women, especially moms):

1. Acknowledge the Guilt, Don’t Judge It

The first step to breaking free from mom guilt is to simply acknowledge that it's there — and then let it be. Don’t judge yourself for feeling guilty. You’re not a bad mom because you feel like you’re not doing enough. Guilt is a natural emotional response, but it doesn’t define who you are as a parent. Just like any other feeling, it’s something that comes and goes.

When you start to notice those feelings of guilt creeping in, try to take a step back and get curious about it. Ask yourself: What’s really going on here? Why do I feel guilty right now? Sometimes just bringing awareness to the emotion can help you take a little bit of the power away from it.

2. Let Go of the Supermom Myth

Here’s a little secret I want to share: there is no such thing as a “supermom.” You know the one I’m talking about — the perfect mom who seemingly does it all with a smile, has a clean house, a successful career, kids who are always well-behaved, and still finds time for yoga and self-care. She’s a myth. That mom doesn’t exist.

I will say it again: You don’t have to be perfect to be a great mom. In fact, trying to be perfect will just burn you out and make you feel more disconnected from your kids and yourself. Instead, focus on the things that really matter to you. What are your values as a mom? What kind of relationship do you want with your kids? It’s okay to let go of things that don’t align with your values or that just aren’t serving you anymore.

3. Make Self-Care a Priority (Without Guilt)

As moms, we  often feel guilty about taking time for ourselves. You might think that by prioritizing yourself, you’re neglecting your kids or being selfish. But here’s the truth: taking care of yourself makes you a better mom. It’s like putting on your own oxygen mask first in an airplane — you have to take care of yourself so you can be there for others.

So, whether it’s taking a nap, going for a walk, or scheduling a therapy session (I’m all for therapy, by the way!), don’t feel guilty about it. Your kids will benefit from you feeling rested, recharged, and emotionally balanced.

As a therapist, I’ve worked with so many moms who feel like they’re drowning because they’ve forgotten to take care of themselves. But the moment they start carving out time for self-care — even if it’s just 10 minutes a day — they start to feel more grounded, less anxious, and more connected to their kids and their sense of self.

4. Consider EMDR Therapy to Process the Guilt

If your mom guilt is tied to deeper emotional issues, like postpartum anxiety, trauma from your birth experience, or unresolved childhood wounds, therapy can be a game-changer. As an EMDR therapist who specializes in working with moms, I can’t recommend this enough.

EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a type of therapy that helps you process distressing emotions, thoughts, and memories. If you’re constantly battling feelings of guilt, shame, or fear, EMDR can help you reframe those thoughts and create new, healthier patterns of thinking. It’s not about “fixing” you — it’s about helping you heal and letting go of old, limiting beliefs that no longer serve you.

Working with a therapist for moms (especially a postpartum therapist) can give you the support you need to break free from the guilt and start embracing the messy, beautiful reality of motherhood. You deserve that kind of healing, mama.

5. Set Boundaries That Feel Right for You

It’s easy to say “yes” to everything — to volunteer at school, to host family gatherings, to always be the one to make dinner, to take on all the mental load. But here’s the thing: you don’t have to do it all. Setting healthy boundaries is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself (and your family). When you say “no” to things that drain you or don’t align with your priorities, you’re saying “yes” to your own well-being.

Start small: say no to something you don’t want to do. Give yourself permission to not be everything to everyone. Setting boundaries is a way of protecting your energy and making sure you’re giving the best of yourself — not the leftovers.

6. Celebrate the Small Wins

Moms are often their own worst critics. We focus on what went wrong, what we didn’t do, or how we could have done better. But we rarely stop to celebrate the wins, even the small ones. Maybe today you didn’t yell when your toddler threw a tantrum. Maybe you finally got that load of laundry done (yay, you!). Whatever it is, take a moment to recognize it and give yourself credit.

You’re doing an amazing job, even on the hard days. Acknowledging your successes, big or small, helps you shift your focus from guilt to gratitude.

Final Thoughts: You Are Enough

Breaking the cycle of mom guilt doesn’t happen overnight, but every little step you take toward embracing imperfection is a step toward healing and peace. In fact, your imperfection is what makes you human — and that’s exactly what your kids need.

If you’re struggling with mom guilt or feeling overwhelmed by the demands of motherhood, know that you’re not alone. And most importantly, you don’t have to do it all by yourself. Therapy and self-care can help you break free from the guilt and reclaim your sense of peace.

You’re doing great, mama. Keep going, and remember that you are enough — just as you are.