Hey mama,

First, let’s get one thing straight: you are not failing. Not even close. I know some days it feels like you’re spinning 18 plates in the air, and at least half of them are wobbling. You’re trying to be everything for everyone—the planner, the chauffeur, the chef, the cuddler, the finder of lost socks. You love your kids with every ounce of your being, and yet, sometimes it feels like too freakin’ much. If that’s where you are today, or if you’ve been there recently, this post is for you.

As a licensed therapist for moms, I’ve sat across from women who are juggling more than should be humanly possible. I’ve heard the guilt, the tears, and the exhaustion. I’ve also seen the incredible strength and love that keeps them moving forward, even when they feel like they’re running on fumes.

Let’s take a deep breath together and talk about what’s really going on and how you can find your way through the overwhelm.

The Invisible Load You’re Carrying

You’ve probably heard of the term “invisible load” or “mental load”. It’s that constant mental checklist running in your head: pack the lunches, make the doctor’s appointment, remember to buy more toothpaste, schedule the parent-teacher conference, figure out what’s for dinner, and oh, didn’t you want to start exercising again?

This invisible load doesn’t come with a clock-in or clock-out time. It’s 24/7, and it’s exhausting. You might be thinking, But everyone has responsibilities. Why can’t I handle mine better? Let me stop you right there. It’s not about handling things better. It’s about recognizing that the sheer volume of what you’re managing is extraordinary and likely at times…unrealistic to be able to juggle it ALL.

A Story We All Know Too Well

Let me tell you a fictional story that is not quite in line but similar to things I hear from my mom clients. Let’s call her Sarah. Sarah is a mom of two kids under six. She works part-time, volunteers at her kid’s preschool, and runs a household. One morning, Sarah’s toddler threw a tantrum because his favorite blue cup was dirty, and her preschooler decided that was the day to cut her own bangs. All of this happened before 8:00 a.m. By 9:00 a.m., Sarah was in tears, hiding in the laundry room, scrolling her phone, and wondering how other moms make it look so easy.

Sound familiar? Here’s what Sarah and I talked about that day: the Instagram-perfect mom doesn’t exist. Everyone’s got their own version of the blue cup meltdown. The difference is how we respond to these moments and, more importantly, how we care for ourselves through them.

Strategies to Manage the Overwhelm

Here’s the truth: you can’t pour from an empty cup (I know, I know… it is near impossible not to have this happen. I hear you). Let’s talk about some realistic ways to fill yours back up.

1. Name Your Feelings

It sounds simple, but when was the last time you stopped to check in with yourself? Are you stressed, sad, angry, or just plain tired? Naming your emotions helps take away their power and gives you clarity on what you need. Journaling or just saying it out loud to yourself can work wonders.

2. Ask for Help (And Then Accept It!)

You don’t have to do this alone. Lean on your partner, a friend, or even a therapist for moms. Asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak; it means you’re human. Create a list of specific tasks others can take off your plate. Need someone to do school drop-off or pick up groceries? Say it.

3. Practice Grounding Techniques

When overwhelm hits, it can feel like you’re drowning. Grounding techniques can help bring you back to the present moment. One of my favorite tools is the 5-4-3-2-1 method: name five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste.

4. Try EMDR Therapy

Sometimes, the overwhelm isn’t just about today’s to-do list. It’s about unresolved stress, trauma, or negative beliefs you’ve been carrying for years. EMDR therapy for moms can help. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a powerful therapeutic approach that helps your brain process and release the things that weigh you down. Many moms I’ve worked with have said it feels like a weight has been lifted after just a few sessions.

5. Schedule an Intensive

If weekly therapy feels impossible to fit into your schedule, consider EMDR intensives. These are focused longer sessions that allow you to dive deep into your healing in a shorter period of time. It’s like giving yourself a mental and emotional reset.

6. Let Go of Perfection

Your kids don’t need a perfect mom. They need you. The you who loves them, listens to them, and tries her best. The messy kitchen, the forgotten permission slip, the store-bought cupcakes? None of that matters in the long run. What matters is the love you pour into your family every day.

7. Carve Out Micro-Moments of Joy

You don’t need a week getaway to get more moments to recharge that add up longer term (though wouldn't that be amazing?). Find small moments in your day that bring you joy: savor a hot cup of coffee, blast your favorite song while driving, or steal five minutes to read a book. These micro-moments add up.

You’re Not Alone.

Mama, let me remind you of this: you are not alone in feeling overwhelmed. The mom in the grocery store with the perfectly packed diaper bag? She’s had her share of blue cup meltdowns. The mom posting the Pinterest-worthy birthday party? She probably cried in the shower last week. We’re all in this together, even if our struggles look a little different.

And remember, you don’t have to figure this out by yourself. Therapy can be a lifeline, not just when things are falling apart, but as a space to process, heal, and grow. Whether it’s through weekly sessions or EMDR intensives, there’s support out there tailored just for moms like you.

A Gentle Reminder

You are doing enough. You are enough. Even on the days when it feels like you’re barely holding it together, you’re showing up. And that counts for everything.

If you’re ready to take the next step in managing the overwhelm, reach out. Whether it’s a phone call to a friend, a therapy session, or just a moment to yourself, you deserve care and support.

Your kids don’t need a supermom. They need a human mom. And YOU, dear mama, are exactly the mom they need.