Surviving Motherhood: Real Talk from a Millennial Therapist
Navigating the ups and downs of motherhood in today’s fast-paced world can feel like a never-ending rollercoaster. If you’ve ever thought, “How am I supposed to do all this?”—you’re not alone. As a millennial therapist and fellow human trying to keep it together, I want you to know: it's okay to feel overwhelmed. Motherhood is a wild ride, and there’s no one right way to do it. But with the right support and a few practical tips, you can find your balance and maybe even sneak in some precious ‘me time.’ Let’s talk about how.
Motherhood is a wild ride, and there’s no one right way to do it.
Balancing Motherhood and Self-Care
Prioritizing Personal Time
Finding time for yourself can feel like searching for a unicorn, but it’s essential for your mental well-being. Seriously—even five minutes can make a difference. Start by identifying small windows of time, like during nap time or after bedtime. Use that time to do something just for you: read, stretch, scroll TikTok guilt-free, or savor a hot cup of coffee (remember those?). And please, let go of the guilt—you’re not just a mom; you’re a whole person with needs, dreams, and quirks. By prioritizing your mental health, you’re showing your kids the importance of taking care of themselves too.
Simple Self-Care Routines
Self-care doesn’t have to be elaborate or Instagram-worthy. Small, simple acts can have a big impact. Start your day with a few deep breaths—in through your nose, out through your mouth. Set a timer for a 10-minute walk and soak in some fresh air. Sip water (hydration is underrated), and if you can, take a quick shower to reset your mood. Even pausing to really savor your morning coffee can ground you. These little moments aren’t luxuries—they’re lifelines.
Setting Boundaries with Love
Boundaries are hard, especially for moms who want to give their all. But hear me out—boundaries are an act of love. They protect your energy so you can show up fully for yourself and your family. Start by gently communicating your needs. Maybe it’s asking for a few uninterrupted hours on the weekend or designating certain times when you’re off-duty. Explain to your family that these boundaries help you be the best version of yourself. And remember, boundaries teach your kids the importance of respecting their own limits and others'.
Navigating Parenting Challenges
Embracing Imperfect Parenting
I've said it before and I will say it again and again: perfect parenting doesn’t exist. The sooner we drop that expectation, the happier we’ll all be. Mistakes are part of the journey—they’re how we learn and grow. And guess what? They’re how your kids learn and grow too! Share your own childhood stories, including the times things went hilariously wrong. It shows your kids that it’s okay to be human and that resilience is built through setbacks, not perfection.
Effective Communication with Kids
Good communication isn’t about having all the right answers—it’s about listening and being present. Start by really hearing your kids out, even when their concerns seem small. Validate their feelings and share your own thoughts calmly and honestly. This teaches them emotional intelligence and shows that it’s okay not to have everything figured out.
Trust me, being real with your kids goes a long way.
Managing Parental Guilt
Something we love to talk about here - mom guilt. Parental guilt loves to sneak in with those “not doing enough” whispers. Let’s challenge that nonsense! Perfection is impossible, and you’re already doing so much. When guilt shows up, ask yourself whether your expectations are even realistic. Celebrate your wins—even the small ones, like getting everyone out the door on time. And remember, taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s essential for being the best parent you can be.
Building a Support System
Finding Community Support
Motherhood wasn’t meant to be navigated alone. Connecting with other moms who get it can be a game-changer. Look for local mom groups or join online communities where you can share stories and get advice. These connections can provide comfort and remind you that you’re not alone. Don’t be afraid to reach out—we ALL need a village.
Leveraging Online Resources
The internet is a treasure trove of resources for moms seeking support. From parenting blogs to virtual support groups, there’s a wealth of information out there. Just be mindful of how much time you spend scrolling and make sure the content you engage with is uplifting. Follow accounts that make you feel seen and supported. If an account doesn't make you feel good, unfollow! It's as simple as that.
Seeking Professional Help
Sometimes, we all need a little extra help—and there’s zero shame in that. If you're a regular reader around here, you already know I am a huge proponent of EMDR therapy. EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and EMDR intensives have become invaluable tools for moms dealing with trauma, anxiety, or the mental load of parenting. EMDR therapy can help process difficult experiences and reduce the emotional weight they carry. EMDR intensives offer a concentrated way to work through these challenges when life feels too hectic for regular sessions. Seeking professional support is an act of strength and self-love.
Motherhood isn’t about having it all together; it’s simply about showing up, doing your best, and being kind to yourself along the way. Remember - you’re not alone in this journey, and with the right tools and support, you can navigate the chaos with grace—and maybe even a few laughs.
