Navigating Postpartum Emotions: When to Seek Help and How Therapy Can Help
Motherhood is amazing—but let's be real—it's also exhausting, chaotic, and sometimes downright confusing. If you've ever found yourself crying because your coffee got cold for the third time this morning or wondered how long it's been since your last shower, you're not alone. As a therapist and a mom of two young boys, I've been there (trust me, I've been there).
In this post, I want to talk about the emotional ups and downs you might face after having a baby, when it could be time to reach out for support, and how therapy, particularly EMDR and therapy intensives, can provide the relief and support you deserve.
Understanding Postpartum Emotions (Yes, They're Real and Normal!)
After giving birth, your body, mind, and entire life shift dramatically. Forget about sleep—it's now more precious than gold. Coffee might become your new best friend, and your toddler might treat every household object like their newest favorite toy. It's no wonder new moms experience so many complex feelings:
Anxiety and Overwhelm: Ever feel like you're constantly behind, juggling tasks with one hand while calming a crying baby with the other? Yep, you're not alone.
Mood Swings: Laughing at something silly one moment and sobbing over spilled milk the next? That's motherhood in a nutshell.
Guilt and Self-Doubt: It's completely normal to question if you're doing enough—especially when Instagram moms seem to have it all together. Spoiler alert: they don't.
Isolation: Ironically, motherhood can feel lonely, even when you're surrounded by little humans all day.
Exhaustion and Burnout: Sleepless nights add up quickly. Feeling drained physically and emotionally is more common than you might think.
These feelings don't mean you're failing—they mean you're human. Recognizing them is your first step toward feeling better.
When It's Time to Reach Out for Extra Help
Every mom struggles at times, but how do you know when it’s something more serious? Here are some clear signs that seeking support could be the best decision:
1. Persistent Mood Changes
Everyone has bad days, but if you've been feeling down, anxious, or just not yourself for weeks on end, it could be postpartum depression. This isn't something you can "snap out of," and that's okay—help is available.
2. Daily Tasks Feel Impossible
If just getting dressed feels overwhelming (and let's face it, yoga pants totally count as dressed), or basic tasks like feeding your baby feel monumental, it's a signal your emotional tank is running low.
3. Negative Thoughts Taking Over
Feeling trapped by thoughts of hopelessness, worthlessness, or constant worry? These thoughts are your body's way of asking for some extra TLC and support.
4. Thoughts of Self-Harm
If you're experiencing thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, please reach out immediately. You're not alone, and help is available right now.
It's also important to know that intrusive, distressing thoughts postpartum are extremely common—experienced by a large percentage of new moms. Having scary or unwanted thoughts does NOT mean you'll act on them or that you're a bad mom. These thoughts can feel terrifying, but they're your brain's way of processing overwhelming stress and change. Speaking openly about them can reduce shame and fear, helping you see just how common these experiences are.
Asking for help is never a sign of weakness—it's just like noticing your phone battery is running low and plugging it in to recharge. You deserve that recharge too.
How Therapy Can Help (Even If You've Never Tried It Before)
Therapy isn't just about laying on a couch and talking about your feelings (although couches can be comfy!). It's a safe space to unpack your emotions, develop strategies to manage stress, and find yourself again.
EMDR Therapy: Processing Emotions Gently and Effectively
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy helps moms gently process challenging emotions, trauma, and anxiety. Think of it like decluttering your mental space:
Quieting Your Inner Critic: EMDR helps reframe negative self-talk (your harshest critic definitely deserves a timeout).
Healing Past and Present Stressors: EMDR can soothe emotional pain from past experiences, helping you feel lighter and more empowered.
Personalized Support: Sessions tailored specifically to your experiences and needs, helping you regain a sense of control and peace.
Therapy Intensives: Quick Relief When Life Feels Too Much
Therapy intensives are short-term, deeply focused sessions—think of them as emotional boot camps (minus the sweat). They offer:
Immediate Strategies: Practical, hands-on tools to quickly reduce feelings of overwhelm.
Personalized Attention: Intense, personalized support to help you regain your emotional balance.
Rapid Progress: See meaningful improvements without waiting months for results.
Getting Past the Stigma: Why It's Brave to Ask for Help
Moms often fear judgment when admitting they're struggling. But here's the truth: you're far from alone. Even superheroes need to recharge. Reaching out is courageous, empowering, and essential. Remember:
You're Not Alone: Countless moms have been right where you are.
Vulnerability Equals Strength: It takes courage to ask for help—and that's a powerful example to set for your kids.
Self-Care Is Not Optional: Your mental health is as important as your physical health—taking care of yourself makes you an even better mom.
Practical Tips to Start Feeling Better Today
Feeling overwhelmed? Try these small but mighty actions:
1. Accept Your Emotions
It's completely okay to feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or unsure. Give yourself permission to experience those emotions fully (even if it means a good cry over spilled Cheerios).
2. Talk to Someone You Trust
Sharing your feelings with a friend, partner, or family member can feel like lifting a huge weight off your shoulders. Just knowing someone else "gets it" can make all the difference.
3. Prioritize Small Self-Care Moments
Find little pockets of time—even just 10 minutes—to recharge. Maybe it's a hot cup of tea, a chapter of a good book, or just sitting outside in silence. Every moment counts.
4. Reach Out for Therapy
Research therapists who specialize in postpartum care, EMDR, or therapy intensives. Most therapists offer free initial consultations, helping you find the perfect fit.
5. Connect with Other Moms
Joining a mom's group (in-person or online) can create instant community and validation. Sharing stories, laughs, and even frustrations with people who truly understand is powerful medicine.
Rediscovering Yourself Beyond Motherhood
You're not just a mom—you're still you, even if motherhood has temporarily overshadowed your identity. Rediscovering hobbies or interests you enjoyed pre-baby can remind you of the person behind the mom. Try scheduling regular "me time"—an art class, gardening, or even binge-watching your favorite show (guilt-free!). This isn't indulgent—it's essential self-care.
A Note From My Heart to Yours
As a therapist and a fellow mom navigating motherhood’s chaos, I've had my own share of ups, downs, and everything in between. I founded Abbie Ames Counseling to support moms just like you—women who want to thrive but who sometimes just need a little help along the way.
There's no such thing as a perfect mom. We're all just learning as we go, doing our best each day. Therapy isn't just about fixing what's "broken"—it's about empowering yourself, gaining confidence, and finding joy again.
Your Healing Journey Starts Now
Navigating postpartum emotions can feel daunting, but the good news is you don't have to do it alone. Whether you choose EMDR therapy, a therapy intensive, or simply start by having a heartfelt conversation with a friend, every step toward your emotional well-being matters.
Motherhood is a wild ride—but remember, you're strong, you're capable, and above all, you're never alone.
I'm here, cheering you on every step of the way.
