If One More Person Tells Me to ‘Just Take a Bubble Bath’…
Ah, self-care. The magical cure-all that’s supposed to fix everything from exhaustion to existential dread. As moms, we hear about it constantly. "You have to take care of yourself!" they say. "You can't pour from an empty cup!" they remind us. And inevitably, someone suggests the holy grail of relaxation: a bubble bath.
I don't know about you, but if one more person tells me to "just take a bubble bath," I might actually lose it.
The Problem with Traditional Self-Care Advice
The idea of self-care has been hijacked by the wellness industry and turned into something that often feels like yet another thing on our endless to-do lists. Go to yoga, meditate, journal, drink green smoothies, get eight hours of sleep, stay hydrated, and, of course, light a candle while taking that elusive bubble bath. It’s exhausting just thinking about it.
The truth is, for moms, self-care isn’t just about carving out an hour to soak in lavender-scented bliss. It’s about survival. It’s about figuring out how to get through the day without completely burning out. And sometimes, that means redefining what self-care actually looks like.
Self-Care Isn’t Always Pretty (And That’s Okay)
Sometimes, self-care isn’t luxurious. It isn’t photogenic. It isn’t something you’d post on Instagram with the hashtag #MeTime. Sometimes, self-care is sitting in your car in the driveway for five extra minutes before going inside because you just need a moment of silence. Sometimes, it’s feeding your kids frozen waffles for dinner because you simply cannot cook another meal. Sometimes, it’s saying no to volunteering at school because you are already stretched too thin.
Self-care can also be messy. It can be ugly crying in the shower because you’ve been holding it together all day. It can be setting boundaries that make other people uncomfortable. It can be admitting that you need help instead of pretending you’ve got it all under control.
Let’s Talk About Realistic Self-Care
Instead of the pressure-filled version of self-care that makes us feel like failures when we don’t do it "right," let’s focus on what actually works for busy moms. Here are some realistic ways to take care of yourself that don’t require a spa day or a Pinterest-perfect plan:
Micro-breaks: Forget hour-long yoga classes. Take 30 seconds to breathe deeply. Close your eyes for a minute. Stretch while waiting for your coffee. Small moments add up.
The ‘Bare Minimum’ Rule: Give yourself permission to do the bare minimum sometimes. The world won’t end if your kids eat cereal for dinner. I promise!
Outsourcing and Delegating: You do not have to do it all. If possible, hire help, order groceries online, or let your partner/kids take on more responsibilities.
Saying No Without Guilt: If something feels like too much, don’t do it. Protect your energy like it’s the last piece of chocolate in your secret snack stash.
Redefining Rest: Rest doesn’t have to mean sleep (though that would be nice). Rest can be watching a ridiculous reality show, scrolling funny memes, or having a quiet cup of coffee before the chaos starts.
Therapy and Emotional Support: Sometimes, self-care means seeking professional help. Therapy isn’t just for crises—it can be a way to process stress, manage emotions, and build resilience. If you feel stuck in survival mode, working with a therapist can help you find strategies that actually work for your life.
EMDR Therapy for Overwhelmed Moms: If past experiences, stress, or anxiety are making it even harder to function as a mom, EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can be a game-changer. It’s designed to help process and release stored trauma, big or small, so you’re not carrying the weight of it every day. Because sometimes, self-care isn’t about adding more—it’s about healing what’s already there.
What Self-Care Actually Looks Like
Self-care isn’t about checking off some idealized list of “relaxing” activities—it’s about having control over how we spend our time. It’s recognizing that what feels like self-care one day might feel like just another task the next.
For example, getting a haircut isn’t self-care for me. It’s maintenance. Another appointment to schedule, another thing to keep up with. But cleaning my house while listening to an audiobook? That can feel like self-care, because it’s something I chose to do. It’s an act of reclaiming my time in a way that feels good in the moment.
Self-care shifts based on what we need.
Some days, it’s a nap. Other days, it’s tackling that messy closet because the clutter is making you anxious. The key is understanding that self-care isn’t about fitting into someone else’s definition—it’s about identifying what actually makes you feel better, lighter, and more in control of your own life.
What Self-Care Really Means for Moms
Moms don’t need more pressure to "do self-care" in a way that feels impossible. We need permission to care for ourselves in ways that actually fit our lives. So no, I don’t need a bubble bath—I need support, time, and space to exist as a human, not just a caretaker. And if self-care looks like ignoring the dishes and going to bed at 8 PM, then so be it.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to hide in the pantry with some chocolate. That’s my kind of self-care.
