Is It Just Me? When You Love Your Kids But Don’t Love Pretend Play

Here’s what no one tells you before you become a parent: playing can be really hard as an adult. Especially when your brain is juggling 300 open tabs like:

What’s for dinner?

Did I respond to that email?

Was that bump on her leg there yesterday?

Add in the mental load of motherhood, and it makes sense that pretend play feels like one more task to “perform.”

And let’s be real—most adult brains are wired for productivity, not pretending to be a baby dragon for 45 minutes.

If you have ADHD, anxiety, trauma, or CPTSD, play can feel especially taxing. Many moms in EMDR therapy report feeling overstimulated by the noise, unpredictability, or repetitiveness of certain play. It’s not laziness—it’s your nervous system trying to cope.

This is something I often explore in EMDR therapy for moms—how our own childhood experiences (or lack of play) impact how we show up now.